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About Me Member Deviously Deviant colleen4everFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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Comments


:iconhtfartist:
How're you doing today?
:iconcolleen4ever:
Doing good. I got the next part of The Princess up. It's The Princess Act 1, scenes 4-5 (scene 3 was the previous one) Hope you like it.
:iconhtfartist:
Good, i'll check it out.
:icondinosapien:
[link]

A Liberty's Kids story I wrote. There's another five chapters already up, but I'm basically too lazy to put the links for them here :P

I just need some constructive critisism.

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:flame:C A U T I O N:flame:
Every time you read Twilight God kills a kitten
THINK OF THE KITTENS
:iconcolleen4ever:
Um,....I read this on fanfiction.net...and there was a reason I ddn't comment. Basically..I found this story kind of creepy and out of character. Like James wanted to jump on Sarah the first chance he got, ad we both now that's not James! James is basically a very nice respectful guy ad I can't see him trying to do it with her before marriage no matter HOW he felt about her.

But that's just me and how I felt. Sorry. I ust didn;t lie this too much.
:icondinosapien:
Oh, okay then. Is that the only thing you didn't like about it, or was it the whole thing in general? And it's only my second story, and I unfortunately didn't see the entire series because of the lack of eps on Youtube so of course this story isn't perfect. But, thanx for your option. I never thought it would come across as creepy :o

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:flame:C A U T I O N:flame:
Every time you read Twilight God kills a kitten
THINK OF THE KITTENS
:iconcolleen4ever:
No, that was basically the only thing...only is was kinda the MAIN thing, if ya know what I mean? I mean, that's the main idea of the whole thing am I rght?

I dont think I meant creepy....more lie a bit out of character, I mean for James to want to take Sara to bed before marriage? I really don't think that's like him at all.
:icondinosapien:
The only reason why they got in bed was due to their intoxicated behavior, not out of discretion. Obviously he wouldn't force her to get in bed with her (and he wouldn't dare). But I see what you mean by that, and it's completely understandable :) But, really, the only reason they got in bed was because they got drunk and couldn't control what they were doing :XD:

And btw, are you saying that people in general can't get in bed before marriage? That's what it sounds like to me :P

And the whole main idea of this story is to get these two together. It's just a big sappy love story :XD:

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:flame:C A U T I O N:flame:
Every time you read Twilight God kills a kitten
THINK OF THE KITTENS

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